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The room is littered with her books and notebooks. I imagine what they say, like...
"shoo fly don't bother me." |
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My name is Becky. I am 16, short, blonde and v. v. loud. I like peppermint tea, red heads, eyeliner and dimples. I used to take great pride in eating spoonfuls of vegemite. I still do it, I just don't take pride in it any more. I have lots of quirks. I used to be really scared of elbows, but I'm over that now. Sometimes I type words out backwards without realising. I hate writing essays, grasshoppers and chatspeak. I'm obsessed with photography, but I'm not very good at it. I'm a complete sucker for people with dimples, for example this total giant who I might possibly be a bit in love with. My best friends don't have dimples, but they're still cool cuz we bitch about absolutely everything/everyone and even though we piss each other off, we still love each other unconditionally. Any resemblances to people and places are It may come as a surprise but I don't require your validation to live my life. ♥ |
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Click The Text. :D
Thursday, February 19, 2009, 5:09 PM
Yeah, so I've returned to the dark side.Better Off - Ashlee Simpson
Wednesday, February 18, 2009, 5:59 PM
It's stupid when you think that things are "finally, finally looking up." Well clearly I am not Ashlee Simpson. Cuz as far as I can see things are looking horrible. And all day long I put up the façade. I only drop it occasionally and even then it's never intentionally.Yes yes, I know, my "problems" if you can call them that are minuscule. But for some unknown reason, I always get my hopes up. I always start to feel a little bit comfortable. And of course it is those moments of comfort when the rug gets pulled out from under you. Today, the bus was really packed. And this elderly lady came and sat next to me. It was fine at first, but then she moved over a bit, so I moved over a bit and then this continued to the point where I was crammed up against the window. And then, she pretty much hoisted herself half onto my lap. Then, her husband came and sat next to her, so I was crammed under these old people, who were speaking Chinese obnoxiously loudly while crushing me. Highly appropriate. Since that's how I feel. Crushed. Entirely. And I know that it was all my own fault. And I'm sorry, but although sorry may be "the hardest word to say" it also is the most meaningless word. Because really, sorry doesn't mean shit. Sorry is the weapon of choice for passive aggressive teenagers and a half-assed way of getting away with doing cruel things. I know I've been cruel, but it's hard to stop being crushed, when the thing that is crushing you isn't about to budge. Then again, I guess I need to think positively, I mean... the elderly couple eventually got off the bus. Labels: 2009, beckyy, buses, drama, fail, friends, ranting, sad, school, stress, study The West Coast - Jason Schwartzman
Tuesday, February 17, 2009, 5:21 PM
Okay, since I haven't blogged in a while, and because economics is the most boring thing in the worldddd. Here I am.Yay. I don't have much to talk about really, I could ramble about how my Valnetines Day was the bestest, or about my drama monologue sucking. But I won't (lol). I guess I could talk about how I'm a bit disappointed by the swimming carnival being cancelled, being our last one at all. I mean granted, I don't have much school spirit, I didn't learn the dance we planned, nor was I going to dress up. But I mean, you have to keep in mind what kind of person I am. It's got more to do with my own personal insecurities as opposed to how much I love my school. Actually, I'm not sure that I do love my school. I mean of course I do, my school had brought me to the most wonderful things in my life, my friends, but at the same time, the crazy amount of pressure they put on us, combined with the way they act like the HSC is the be all and end all. I'm not saying I don't want to do well, because I do, and it does matter to me, but at the same time it's all a bit wtf. I mean, we're teenagers. They are honestly expecting a bit much. Or maybe it's just me. Well actually I know it's not just me. Anyway. I guess I need to work on the restraint thing. I was watching the movie Orange County yesterday with Dimples (No, not the OC. Orange County. There's a difference.) and it reminded me of this idea I'd had ages ago. Well actually, it's not all that brilliant of an idea, since I'm sure that shitloads of people do this, but okay... let me start from the beginning. (That train of thought was getting weird.) Okay, so I was always a diary-keeping kinda person. For reasons that were retarded and well yeahh. Anyway, I haven't kept a diary in a while, so I thought I might get a new one. For three weeks now I've been fantasising about this diary I saw at Kogarah newsagency (yes, I know I don't have normal fantasies) and today I finally bought the damn thing. So I thought I'd kinda copy the guy in the movie and write a diary in the form of a story, like each entry being a chapter or someshit. And of course the lovely and somewhat boring Becky being the protagonist of the story, and each of my friends a supporting character and and and... that seems so retarded written out. Oh well. It's not like anyone will get to read it anyway. Labels: 2009, beckyy, blogging, death, drama, economics, fail, friends, happy, lols, love, monologues, movie, Orange County, resolutions, school, secret blog, study, valentines It's About Time - Barcelona
Sunday, February 1, 2009, 6:33 PM
So school has started so I've become kind of tied to my multiple colour coordinated binders full of work. I'm kind of half working, I still haven't gotten into the swing of it, but I'm confident that I will. I don't really have another option at this moment in time. Of course, I could just spend time procrastinating by playing around with the settings on my Nikon D60. That's always productive.Today I went shopping with my parents, just a brief trip to Miranda. I was so flipping happy to be back there. I know it had only been like, a week or so, but I missed it. Is it weird that my happy place is in fact a shopping centre in the shire? I don't think so. Lalalalalalalaaaa don't question me. Anyway, while in my happy place, I decided to do something I've never ever done before. Buy valentines related shit. Okay, so I only actually bought three cards, but having spent my entire life going "ew valentines day" I do believe this was a big step for me. I actually changed my mind about valentines, and only because of the cards. I seriously stood there for half an hour at the card rack reading them all and laughing. Got a weird look from some old man that worked in the store so I winked at him and continued to laugh. Clearly I bring chaos upon myself. I am rather happy with my card purchases, mainly because valentines is on a Saturday this year. Which means, there won't be horrible flower deliveries at school all day. It makes me so mad, especially those girls with the giant boxes of flowers who giggle and say "Oh I told my boyfriend not to bother, but I guess he couldn't help it." As if when a girl says "Oh don't worry about getting me anything" that's actually what it means. Really, that phrase is code for "You'd better surprise me with the best gift evarrrr. Or at least attempt to." (I will never understand why even crap gifts and epic failure is cute when it comes from a guy you like.) Honestly, it gives me the shits to the max. All the flipping flowers and teddy bears and argh. It's not because I'm jealous. I hate roses and all that crap. Well kinda. It's mainly cards that I like. I am such a sucker for cards. Last valentines I had a double peer support lesson and my year sevens were far more successful in love than I was. *shudder* I like to think that this year I've matured. I even bought cards dammit. Those of you who I bought them for had better congratulate me on my awesome choices and tell me how much you love me. Lie if you have to. And to conclude, no I am not going to bitch about how pissed off I am about school. I am not going to tell you all about my fear of failing ext 2 english and drama (the two subjects I was most excited about too...) Oh wait. Labels: 2009, beckyy, cards, drama, ext 2 english, friends, happy, HSC, love, miranda, monologues, ranting, stress, study, valentines No Lies, Just Love - Bright Eyes
Monday, January 19, 2009, 8:43 PM
I was being all morbid and retarded today, and I went on mydeathspace.com again. For those of you who have never come into contact with that site, it's basically a bunch of listings of people who have recently died and links to their myspace pages.Yes, I know. I'm weird. I spent like 3 hours on the site today, looking at teenagers who had died in the US. Kids around my age. Some of them died by being shot, others car accidents, fires, one kid was beaten to death. And then of course I'd go to the myspace pages. Most of them, were full of messages from friends and family, RIPs and I miss yous and Merry Christmases. The most touching messages were those that were just messages telling them what had been going on lately, and that they were not forgotten. I don't know a lot of about death, and I don't really have much of a theory about it personally, but I think that even though someone is dead, it doesn't necessarily mean you should just decide they can't hear you or see you anymore. I mean, there's nothing to say that they can, but there isn't any proof to the contrary either. Some of the pages though made me really really depressed. One guy, who had died in a fire in 2006, had his last comments from some girl, who he had obviously been trying to pick up. They had been talking the morning before he died. Then, obviously he stopped replying since he went off to die in a fire, and that was the last message ever. He had quite a few people on his friends list too. Did none of them see fit to post a simple "I miss you"? Hell, I tell my friends I miss them when I haven't seen them in like 48 hours, let alone when they've been dead for 2 years. I just don't get it. Why did that stupid bitch not comment on that guy's page after he died? I mean hello. Dead? No? That doesn't mean anything to you people? Not interested in making small talk about how cute you think his hair is now that he's dead? RAWRARAWRAWRAWRAWR. /angry outburst. I got to thinking more about the actual site, this whole mydeathspace thing, see I don't actually have a myspace. So if I were to die tomorrow, I would not be included in the website, but some of those profiles were utterly unused. Some of the people had one friend, myspace Tom. So why the hell were they listed? Is that what's going to be left behind when I die? Absolutely nothing, since myself and myspace Tom have severed our friendship. Okay, so the closest things I have to some kind of internet shrine would be my facebook page and my blog. So like, friends reading this. Promise me something.
Holy duckles I need a hug. Also, Americans need to stop carrying guns. Kthanx. Labels: 2009, death, facebook, fail, friends, guns, holidays, hug, love, mydeathspace, myspace, sad Hardcore Days And Softcore Nights - Aqueduct
Wednesday, January 14, 2009, 9:32 PM
Today I went to Lea's house and we watched the OC which was wonderful because I ♥ The OC. And we straightened Toddy's hair (which was lol since it alerted me to the fact he has a celebrity twin) and we ate pizza! But the most wonderful thing I did today, was...Wait for it. I FINISHED MY EXT 2 ENGLISH PROPOSAL!!!!! It still needs to be edited (which is Toddy's job since I am blind to my own errors), but I am so flipping pumped! Okay, back to what I was going to rant about. And no, I'm not going to rant about the fact that I just realised my boyfriend looks like one of the Jonas Brothers. Todd says (9:27 PM): not a jonas brother Todd says (9:27 PM): please, please, kill me now Rebecca says (9:27 PM): i think hes your twin But instead I am going to rant about something else very dear to my heart, even dearer than Dimples perhaps, that being The OC. I've been watching The OC since around half-way through season one. Of course after all the DVDs came out I bought them and I've now seen each episode multiple times, but having spent my teenage years so far growing up on a diet of Seth, Summer, Marissa and Ryan, I kinda just loved the show too much to ever question it. At all. So while watching it with my friends today, we made a mind map thingy of the character relationships and I've realised something. With the exception of Summer and Seth (thank God since they are my favourite couple on the show) pretty much everyone is bloody related. Particularly in season two with the whole Lindsay being Ryan's girlfriend and his adoptive Grandfather Caleb's illegitimate daughter ⇒ Ryan's auntie. And Marrissa, who of course Ryan later gets back together with, is Caleb's step daughter also ⇒ Yay, another auntie for him to date! Also, Kirsten (Ryan's adoptive mother) and Julie are best friends and Julie is married to Caleb, who conveniently is Kirsten's father (he needs to stop having children and getting married dammit) and so this makes everything even more complicated and retarded. I'm sure anyone semi-intelligent who has watched the show before worked this out, but I only realised today through my friends bitching. I like to say I'm idealistic rather than stupid... now to conquer that pile of economics... Labels: beckyy, ext 2 english, friends, fun, hair, hellyeahh, HSC, jonas brothers, lols, love, the oc, tv Crown of Love - Arcade Fire
Tuesday, January 13, 2009, 9:50 PM
When I was four years old, I climbed behind the couch with my comb and ripped all its teeth off. The comb itself was a good comb, it did the whole hair brushing job pretty damn well and all that, but nevertheless something in my four year old brain told me that it had to be destroyed. I’m 16 now and my habits haven’t changed, I still ruin things that are perfectly good for no reason at all.I had a doctor's appointment last week, which I skipped because I couldn't be stuffed walking down the street (true story) simply because I can predict exactly what the doctor will tell me."You're obviously stressed, I know that you're starting year 12 now Rebecca (cuz I'm a pompous asshole and hence think I know everything oh and like it says your age and stuff on your file) but that's no reason to work yourself to death. Blah blah blah." Um hi. My name is Beckela and I am actually not in any danger of working myself to death, cuz like, I'm not working. I should be, but all I've managed is two pages of my Ext 2 English project proposal and reading a few meaningless economics sheets. But sure, why not. Thanks doc. So here's the thing. I stress out. A lot. But I don't actually work hard enough which causes the stress so if I actually did some of the work I was stressing over then I would immediately alleviate my stress. But check it out, I'm blogging instead. Nononono. Okay, to-do list time:
Labels: beckyy, doctors, drama, economics, ext 2 english, fail, g-unit, holidays, HSC, legal studies, monologues, school, stress, study, texts Love Like Semtex (Metronomy Remix) - Infadels
Friday, January 2, 2009, 7:03 PM
So I just watched like 45 minutes of footage of myself, Nika, Dimples and Jessie today in the city and on the train. I kinda want those 45 minutes of my life back. My Gee Ohh Dee, I am so obnoxious and the camera really does add 10 pounds. Seriously.But hey, it's a nice capture of um... youth? Friendship? Something? Anything? Anyway, I had a rather nice day today. I really don't hang out with Jessie enough. We went and saw Marley and me today. Marley reminded me of Ruby, which is kinda stupid considering that Marley is a dog and Ruby is a cat, but like oh well. I love my Ruby cat. Yeah sorry, I'm still not quite over how horrible my voice was in those clips. I am rather high pitched it would seem. Hmm. So anyway, I was in the toilets in McDonalds on George Street, you know the really nice palace looking one? And like, the toilets were terrible. My main problem with them being that there were no mirrors. And the walls and floor were this horrible brown colour which does nothing for the more germophobic of us. (For example Little Miss I-won't-eat-out-of-the-same ice-cream-tub-as-my-best-friend-and-boyfriend-even-though-I-love-cookies-and-cream, who is, coincidentally me.) Anyway I was thinking about toilets and like women in toilets. I've never been male so I don't quite understand urinal etiquette, but usually when females go to the toilets together there's this strange politeness. If it's one female, for example myself and her female friend, who for the purpose of this example will be known as Nika, and now I've lost my train of thought/sentence. Okay. So two chicks go to the bathroom together. They get there and it's empty. So they each go into a cubicle. And then, the silence ascends. Both females wait, bladders clutched in the eerie silence, neither willing to the be the first to disturb the silence with the sound of peeing. It's kind of ironic that we're all so hung up over something so tiny, any female reading this would be lying if she said she'd never done this. And I kinda like that despite the facts that we tell our bestgirlfriends pretty much everything. We tell each other all the stupid little details about our boyfriends, about our parents, about ourselves, and yet as soon as we're in a silent bathroom its all like "OMG CENSORSHIP". I mean yes, it's unpleasant, but it's hardly the most drammatic thing in the world to be embarassed about. Hahhaa, I love people. They're so weird. Overall an excellent day, my main issue is that Dimples is going to be disappearing for a week, although that probably means that I'm going to study. Either that or I'll do what I did last time he went away and lie on my floor listening to stupid songs he's sent me that I hate (lol sorry) over and over again. Me clingy? Nevarrr! I love my friends and the city. Although, that all you can eat pizza hut place was just retarded. Labels: beckyy, camcording, camera, cat, city, friends, lols, Marley and Me, toilets, trains Love Lockdown - Kanye West
Thursday, January 1, 2009, 1:40 PM
New year. New blog. But shhh, this one is a secret. In fact, if you're reading this and someone holds you at knife point and asks if this blog even exists.You will say no.Nonononononono. Who are you? Why are you in my house? Why are you wearing my clothes? Take off my clothes! NO! Not those, the ones you're wearing! (Don't mind me) I feel kinda bad for ditching wordpress, but I missed being anonymous. The odd 13,000 hits my old blog had pissed me off, especially since I knew that at least half of those were from people who were only reading my posts to find something to ridicule or twist to make me sound like a bitch, I mean yeah, I am a bitch, but I'm a bitch on my terms, not in the way you want to paint me. When I resolved not to blog anymore, I kinda just meant in my old blog. This one no one needs to know about. Ohh kay? So I could make some resolutions. Blogging resolutions of course. Kinda like the ten commandments of blogging. Or something like that, although I doubt I'd get to ten.
That was a fair effort. I almost got to ten. Okay, actual resolutions, well I'm going to go for the obvious, that is, kicking arse in the HSC. (Which of course means doing assignments and stuff eg, the economics or ext 2 english I should be doing riiight now) And I'm going to try and be less bitchy, although I don't see that happening anytime soon. The thing is though, that I'm not bitchy to the people who matter, the ones who show me the same respect you know, so maybe I'll discount that idea since until everyone else stops bitching it's unlikely that I will. Alright. In 2009 I will....
Merry 2009. Labels: 2009, beckyy, blogging, commandments, lols, new year, resolutions, secret blog |
so little time to do them in...
☐ 90+ UAI☐ Grow my hair to my waist ☐ Write ☐ Be a feminist ☐ Take more photos ☐ Be independant ☐ No crying over spilt milk ☐ Don't drive friends insane ☐ Buy more clothes ☐ Be honest ☐ Hold onto those I love ☐ Stop eating doughnuts ☐ Learn something everyday ☐ Always paint my nails ☐ Curb my temper ☐ Learn to drive You can't hide from the past...
January 2009
February 2009
Talk dirty to me...
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Complaints/compliments/offers of marriage to be directed here ♥♥♥ |
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